Does your Heiny smell?

A candid question, indeed. But when you're droppin' nearly 20 bucks on a 12-pack of Heineken, why the hell can't it smell like beer and not like some dead animal's ass?

Don't get me wrong, it's good beer! Made in Holland (home of one of my favorite bands, Epica -- or maybe they're from some other Benelux nation. Who knows, those countries are tossed around the EU like copper at a hobo's poker tourney). It's only 99 calories. And is really drinkable.

I buy it sometimes in the can; if you pour it into a pilsner glass you can't taste the can.

By the way, most beer was sold in cans until the 1960's, if I'm not mistaken. There's nothing wrong with canned beer, you pansies.

The risk of skunky beer alone averts me from buying it. If I'm looking for a good, tastey beer (even if it does have 170 calories), I go for a Redhook ESB. By ESB standards it's not good, but it's one of the best American micros I've ever had. Plus, it's nearly half the price of Heineken.