I'm dreaming of a . . . Silent Night.

Like many of you, Christmas has to be my favorite day of the year. It is not because of the good will towards men. It has nothing to do with getting gifts or consuming large amounts of food and alcohol. Nor does it have to do with the days off of work.

To me, Christmas day, much like the death-row inmate on the day of his execution, might be a tortuous ordeal in itself, but it also signifies the end of an arduous journey -- a journey of evading and avoiding the same shitty, trite, mind-numbingly stupid songs that I have heard for the past 30 years.

No matter how much I try to avoid it I know that, just like every other year, I am to be subjected to Christmas songs for at least 55 days (starting November 1^st), followed by two six-hours hazings of Christmas music each on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. This year was a special treat, because my brother brought forth the cornucopia of holiday drivel that is played on XM satellite radio. So not only did I get to hear the "original" renditions of the songs, but also variations by everyone from Luther Vandrose to Van Halen, from Amy freakin' Grant to Annie Lennox. From metal, to rap, to darkwave, to emo, to country, to boy-band bullshit, everyone's in on the action. And it's the same damned songs over and over again. I found myself once again sitting in unfathomable disbelief that the people around me can listen to the same damned songs over and over again every day, all day, for almost two months, and enjoy themselves!

And it's not just variations on a theme. The Darkwave/Ambient label Projekt (one of my favorite labels), whores itself in two ways. First, it sells CD's with gloom-and-doom variations of typical Christmas songs, but it also sells holiday tunes that are more satirical (you know, for the "too cool for Christmas" types out there).

But regardless of what the music sounds like, the story is always the same: Over the years artists have realized that if they make even the most idiotic of Christmas songs or variations, it will be played and they will get a royalty check at the end of December. And that is the reason artists like Kiss, and Pearl Jam, and Metallica have jumped on the Christmas bandwagon (in addition to probably already being sell-outs in their own rite).

So tonight when Bruce Springsteen tells you for the five-thousandth time that Santa Claus is coming to town, if you listen real close, you might hear the jingle of coins filling the Boss's pockets, and here him exlcaim ere he drives out of sight:

"Merry Christmas, SUCKERS! See you next November 1st!"

"Hi, my name is [insert name], and I'm a hatchback owner."

Everyone knows the Toyota Matrix. Yes, the name is a little dated ("The Matrix" movie came out almost a decade ago . . . I'm getting old), but it has some endearing qualities, like a quick 4-cylinder, and AWD option.

[BTW – Johnny swept Daniel-san's leg in "The Karate Kid" almost 25 years ago; now I feel old.]

But when you mention the Matrix to people, you'll usually get the response of "I don't like hatchbacks." That's fine; they're not for everyone, I guess. But those same people will see a crossover and say "I like to live on the edge-ah" or "Boy, those new Nissan Rogues are nice."


"Nice Hatchback!"
"d00d, stfu, my Rogue would PWN a hatchback!"
"Huh?!"

You see, they've fallen into the trap! The marketers (you know, the ad wizards getting pleasured in their M3's for stealing my food toy idea? You know who you are!!) realize that a stale, old vehicle design may still work if you give it a fresh, hip new name -- like Crossover!

A Crossover is supposed to be hybr-- oh, my bad, that cool and hip buzzword is already taken. It's supposed to be, uhm, an homogenization of car and SUV, taking the good qualities of the car like stability and fuel economy, and the good qualities like ride and AWD that are found in an SUV.

Well, I don't mean to piss on your parade, but isn't that what the station wagon was 50 years ago? And the hatchbacks that became immensely popular in 70's, how are they not the same?

Don't get me wrong, there are some crossovers that really are a good mix, like theToyota Highlander, or the Honda Pilot, or the Jeep Compass, none of which is a SUV, but could probably at least pull their way through of wet grass.

But there are some cars that are more hatchback than some hatchbacks! Take the Nissan Murano, or better yet, the Nissan Rogue: creepy styling, low ground clearance, no 4WD (or even AWD in some instances).

What the hell business does this thing have going through anything but a pothole?? Give me a break. But I'm sure it picks up a damned-good pile of groceries, though.

I like hatchbacks. The Scion xD is awesome, the Matrix, the WRX wagon, the Nissan Versa. They're just not anything like a truck.


Yoho approves of this car.

Don't be ashamed you drive a hatchback, and don't let the advertizers get away with destroying a piece of automotive history! You get those groceries in style and with pride!!

I've been ROBBED!!

I woke up this morning to find that I had been robbed! Or, more accurately burglarized. No, not my house, but my freakin' blog!


I was bloglarized!


On November 15, 2007, I wrote a blog called "Your food is not a Toy." It was so well-received by my readers that some that my idea was stolen to make a commercial:




Are you kidding me!? This was my idea! Well, at least the part about food being a toy (not the part where your food's looks like someone ate garbage and puked it onto a bun; Wendy's can take credit for that).

Right now, some ad wizard is getting pleasured in his BMW by some high-priced prostitute for his "creativity."

I applaud the kind of effort these guys put into stealing others' ideas.

What's the real reason behind the weak dollar?

I thought since I never really get to use my BS in Economics, and because one of my blog readers inquired today about it, I thought I would discuss the weak US Dollar.

Consider the following:

http://www.huppi.com/kangaroo/L-gold.htm
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20070921064243AAKLJuv
http://www.slate.com/id/2170745/nav/tap3/

The US Dollar, like pretty much every other first-world country, uses fiat money (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fiat_money), which is money backed by government demand for it as legal tender. Most people realize that, when you invest in the US gov't, all it's going to do is spend a ton of money and issue more bonds to pay off the initial debt.

Some would say it's similar to a ponzy scheme: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ponzi_scheme
The difference is, the US Government isn't going anywhere, or at least when it does it'll probably take 99% of the world's population with it. The downside is, people (at least today and yesterday) think that the dollar is going to sink further, so no one wants them . . . not right now, at least.

The upside is, people will start BUYING U.S. goods because they are now cheaper than goods in Europe and even Canada, which will boost the economy.

Bottom Line: Since its inception, the Federal Reserve has skirted many a depression with merely fluctuating the federal funds rate http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Federal_funds_rate (the only real power the Federal Reserve has).

It's the opposite of a gold standard of money:
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gold_standard), and gives the US gov't a means of injecting or restraining its own volume of money.

Libertarians (like myself), don't like the idea of fiat money . . . however, I'm more a pragmatist than a libertarian, and I see fiat money, (or gov't-backed money), a necessary evil in the world today to ensure there is neither a depression, or hyperinflation.

Tomorrow may be the day when Wall Street dwellers start jumping from buildings, but I doubt it. Everyone needs to take a deep breath, and go buy something. No, I mean save. Err, whatever you want to do.